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Lovely [04 Oct 2006|05:15pm]
[ mood | Bored! ]

Life is good right now i seem to be taking a nice middle ground right now. Nothing is bad and mostly everything is good. Jeff (the boyfriend) and i are doing very well. We recently got a hotel room and after 5 months of dating we consumated our relationship lol. It was very nice and i couldn't be happier. School is going okay it's trying to stay interested is the problem. *Sigh* i don't hear from alot of people that i used to anymore lol oh well. I got fired from my kiosk job and in the same day got a new job that i absolutely hated so i gave my 2 weeks after 3 days and i'm going to leasing apartments for like 12 an hour. So that's my life right now. Hope to talk to you all soon.

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Life as of........NOW!! [24 Aug 2006|02:18pm]
[ mood | mmm naptime ]

Life is cool right now...i'm going to be going to main campus this semester as a continuing ed student. I'm excited about school again it's amazing. I've had a boyfriend for like 4 months now his name is Jeffrey Ryan Stellfox and he's just amazing he's 24 has all these piercings (nipples). We have a good relationship i don't take his shit he doesn't take mine so we equal out lol. My kitchen is getting redone and the floors are being done right now so i think i'm getting high of the turpentine weee!!!! My arm is cramping (must be all the jerking off) the one thing i'm realizing about myself is that i'm way too horny for my own good lol. I have heart burn. I went to go get my books today and i started reading one and they are okay better than my mom's books there is math in hers lol. My ipod isn't charging and it's pissing me off right now cuz i got new headphones and they are peppermint blue at least that's what it says on the box. I'm hoping to go somewhere before school starts like my aunts house in connecticut but i doubt that will happen *sigh* i didn't even go to the beach this summer and that is the first time i've ever done that. I'm so fat i don't know why someone would want me and i'm hairy too lol. I'm getting tired of my job it used to be fun now i just want to punch customers in the face like i hate when i get dumb customers that ask dumb questions like: "do you have the verizon phone" pardon me maam but i thought verizon had more than one phone under thier belt. Or a better one "is there a body shop in this mall" try looking behind you lieutenant obvious yeah that's right your so stupid i demoted you. Well i'm going to go take a nap with my niece cuz i'm old and tired bye!!

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i've been doing well... [07 Jun 2006|01:58am]
[ mood | accomplished ]

I've been doing really well as of late. I have a hot hair cut people i think actually like me lol. I'm talking to a guy and everytime i have a really excited thought or you know want to express my feelings i tell someone else instead. Because i need to learn to take things slowly lol. I love my job i meet so many people and i think it's funny that these customers think i'll remember them because they always remember me. I love it when they come up and say oh my god i love you!!! you put the faceplate on my phone and made my day and i just stare at them and say "and you are?" My boss is getting married in 4 days and i keep teasing him about it. It's marked DOOMS DAY on the schedule. The guy that i'm talking to couldn't be sweeter he was born in Dublin, Ireland on St. Patricks day!!! He's my age lives in Rising sun and is a really really good kisser. And i think it's good when someone says "i feel safe in your arms." My mom had her b-day and the entire day made me laugh by pissing my sister off and when my sister would get mad my mom would just say "well it's my fucking birthday i can do what i want." I've realized that i freak out for no reason sometimes like when friends don't talk to me for awhile. It's nice to not see them for along time and then like run through a sprinkler with them and eat doughnuts and just talk and have a great time. I started to wash my car today and i put the new Dixie chicks CD in and started washing my "KIA rims" and i spent a half an hour on them and washed nothing else but i must say i did a good rim job. There is an awesome song on the new DC cd lol it's called Taking the long way around and it just describes me lol. There's also one about the lead singers grandmother who has alzheimer's it's calle "Silent house" and it makes me cry but anyway. So right now even though i'm poor as shit i'm really loving life. I might have a potential man but i don't know i mean who cares right? *winks* James Mulligan sounds good to me!!! But yeah i spent the night at the mortons awhile ago i think i might text them tomorrow and see what the hell their up to. I want to help them move lol they said i could stay down there at their new house if i wanted....hmmm. Damn i'm random tonight!!!

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How can you tell.... [21 May 2006|02:26am]
[ mood | depressed ]

I don't know what to do anymore how do i tell if i'm depressed what are the signs? I've had two car accidents in a month. I feel like i need a man in my life to fill some void. I've become the person i have always tried to avoid. I don't know what to do anymore it used to help when people would talk to me and just console me. But it's not working anymore......i just want to go. I got into a car accident today for the second time this month this time it was my car. I got stood up by the guy that calls himself my boyfriend. I made new plans to go and have fun they fell through, my sister yelled at me because they fell through. My mom and sister rented movies and when i sat down to watch them with them. They told me to go away i was bringing their fun down. I tell other people to let things out but i find that i can't let anything out anymore.....all i want to do is just cry for god's sake but nothing ever happens. I've lost all interest in school i'm tired of it. I want to go but something just keeps me from aplying myself i'm probebly going to fail out. I was finally starting to get happy than everything blows up in my face. My father finds out i'm going out with a guy and totally flips on me telling me that god sees what i'm doing and is going to send me to hell. I've never ever cussed at my father but i let out such a torrent of them at him that i didn't even know it was me talking. I told him not to throw his dogmatic pentacostal shit in my face. so if i'm going to hell then why not just end my suffering. I don't mean kill myself i don't think i could ever do that. I ust wish i could have good luck for once in my life i'm so optimistic all the time and it causes me to always be dissapointed.

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i've decided [18 Mar 2006|06:38pm]
that i'm going to terminate my livejournal account or not write in it anymore because if your your not reading my journal then obviously you don't give a shit oh well. I have many people that want to be in my life goodbye! :)
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Question [08 Mar 2006|01:34pm]
How do Chinese people text message when there are over 2,000 words in their alphabet??
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*sigh* [27 Feb 2006|11:36pm]
I think i'm going to drop out and actually try to go to a real college and fuck Psychology i'm doing pre-med
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Hee hee [26 Feb 2006|02:57am]
I'm so glad no one reads my journals anymore so i can write what i want!!!! Wooo!!!! So i went clubbing tonight!!! It was dorothea's b-day from Starbucks so we took her kareoking. Then we went clubbing oh my god i danced so hard i was so sweaty. Sarah and i sang Lady Marmalade and i was so christina agulera or however the fuck you spell her name. I have to fucking sleeeep aniet yall "hurt me hurt me" "you know your full clothed right??"
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Hahaha [25 Feb 2006|02:54am]
My mom and i just went grocery shopping at Walmart cuz we were bored and tired at the same time. So we put our clothes on and got to walmart at 1am. We left walmart at like 2:30am. We had alot of fun making fun of the hick insomniacs. We almost hit a rabbit and i remembered the time we had just gotten our new van and a duck hit our windshield oh god!!!!
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Hmm [23 Feb 2006|10:11pm]
Does anybody really know what time it is??
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Ugh [22 Feb 2006|11:46am]
[ mood | mm girl what should i do!! ]

I really need to learn how to spend my money more conservatively on important things like gas. I just checked my account balance and thank god it wasn't negative *sigh*. But it was at $45 and so i ran into the bank and deposited all the money i had with me the lady was really nice cuz i didn't really count my money. I made her laugh and the guy with the new BMW in the parking lot offered me a job because he liked my charisma and i said no thanks i'm a student and education is my first priority and my phone rang and he was like well you must have a job to get a phone like that. I turned to him and said no my charisma got me this one winked at him got my account balance and left. Then he saw my car (god this guy was pushy) he was like well if you took the job i'm offering you could get a better car than this one with a mirror that doesn't need duct tape and i laughed and said oh this is a rental. My mom was going down our drive way and side swiped a tree and knocked the mirror off my car is in the shop. He was like and asked me where i worked and i told him and then i said. I enjoy my job very much it is great for the personality i have i'm very good with people i love dealing with them it allows me to work with my hands and that's something i need. Then i said and frankly a desk job at some high end building in wilmington wouldn't do that for me. Then i added plus if i ever needed a job like that i'd ask my uncle and of course as i got in my car i realized the uncle i was referring to died 2 years ago. I had forgotten i had like added him into my memory for the past two years i actually thought he was still alive *sigh* it's crazy how your mind does that to you sometimes. So anyway i totally missed my Spanish class which really makes me mad ugh i'm trying to do well in that class and every time i want to study i end up falling asleep ::rolls eyes::. But yesterday a girl in my class asked me if i wanted to be a part of their study group and i said yes the only problem is that i have pit band tonight. I hope i didn't make a mistake by doing this. I'm spread so thin already i hope it's not too much for. I'm so tired all the time now and if you know me that is so not me. Practice is from 9-11pm i mean ewe who does that some people have lives and need to study!!! I'm so confused right now about my relationship that i just ended. I feel like it took this break up to find out what we really feel about each other. What we feel about each other makes me smile every time i think about it then i frown because of the decision i recently made ugh!! I don't know.... But anyway i think i'm doing pretty well in school except for Eng i have no idea about that last week when i went he wasn't there and i don't have a syllabus so i don't know what to do ugh!!! I just want my car back. That's the last time i buy designer sunglasses Burberry, Armani, nooo!!!! I bought some at Rugged Wearhouse and their just as good and dare i say more durable. I'm starting to get used to the idea that maybe people really do like me and care for me even though i only hear from them every once in awhile it's hard thought cuz i think of them all the time. Well that's all for today i think i'll talk to you guys later :)

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*sigh* [19 Feb 2006|10:30pm]
I like how someone can meet people i call best friends and be closer to them then i am
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Hahaha [17 Feb 2006|05:58pm]
[ mood | amused ]

Only a gay guy would wear a button up Banana Republic shirt to Chem Lab lol!!!

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*sigh* [15 Feb 2006|10:02pm]
I feel like i don't know
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*sigh* [14 Feb 2006|05:34pm]
[ mood | thankful ]

I'm in love

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*sigh* [12 Feb 2006|10:16pm]
I laugh at funerals
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hahaha [10 Feb 2006|09:50pm]
[ mood | amused ]

'I opened the paper and turned to the theater section first, as I always did in those days, and there was the first review of my work as a writer. It began, "Backward children in a school for the retarded wouldn't have been proud of what happened last night." After that it got worse'

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Oh my god [10 Feb 2006|05:50pm]
[ mood | amused ]

Chem lab is going to be my favorite class first it's on main campus and second the teacher is male, cute, and gay wooo!!!

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Okay [09 Feb 2006|12:59am]
So while i was working tonight this male customer comes up and is completly nice he makes a few jokes on the lude side and makes this joke and afterwards says god i hate fags. I felt my face slacken my fists clenched and he looked up and i smiled. I sweet talked him got the sale and as i was handing him his change. I said here's some advice direct from me to you. "Please think the next you speak because you never know who's ears you might offend with your ignorance." He just stared at me i returned the smile and said have a nice evening. Now i didn't know my boss was standing behind me and i turned around and he says "you handled that well but you shouldn't have said anything let him bask in his ignorance" i replied, i was going to kick him in the mouth but i decided this was the better option he said, yeah you'd be right about that one. I don't know my adderal has been making me a bitch cuz i haven't taken it in awhile. And when i come down i'm so fucking irritable. I laughed all day today i didn't stop once i had some pretty bad luck today and all the while i put on a happy face!!!
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ugh [08 Feb 2006|10:16pm]
i almost got hit by a car in the mall parking lot
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